Friday, October 13, 2006

Five course meal? No problem. Just stay away from the Microwave Popcorn.

Gotta love it when it's the end of the day on a Friday, and you're hanging w/ the bosses at the day job, having a nice beer in the kitchen, and hunger strikes.

It seems like a good idea to pop up a batch of microwave popcorn. So you put the bag in the microwave, set it for three minutes and innocently run back to your desk to do just a teeny bit more online searching for new bras because well, it's Friday. It's also payday, and the boudoir is in need of replenishing, especially since the local laundromat's wash & fold service happened to lose a whole load of your bras, undies & towels, but that's another story.

It hasn't even been three minutes, and you run back into the kitchen, cause you're quick like that, and for god's sake, you want your damn afternoon snack.

But when you open the microwave, it's too late. Large black clouds of smoke come billowing out, and you know that you are doomed as you try not to breathe that insidious smell of crispy partially hydrogenated rancid oil fumes which are just short of catching fire.


One of the bosses grabs the popcorn and throws it on a tray as you run to the window and fling it open wide. Out goes the popcorn to sit smoldering on the roof, as you run around apologizing to seemingly everyone within a five mile radius, who can no doubt smell that horrible stank.

Soon, the building's fire alarm goes off, and you're trying desperately to get the building manager on the phone, to no avail. Everyone in the office keeps running in and laughing at you/with you.

Next, you hear the sirens of the fire truck getting closer, closer.

Finally the building manager calls and says that you need to get out of the building. You explain that actually, it's just burnt popcorn, and you're so sorry for the trouble.

Everyone in your office marvels at the fact that you can cook so many amazing things, but that you can't make popcorn.

The CEO of the company gives you his recipe, and promises to make it next week...


KnittyOtter said...

I think it has something to do with work microwaves. I have done this very thing before. On a Friday thankfully... but come Monday the stench was still there. We had to get a new microwave it was so bad. o.0

I bet you can make stove top popcorn wonderfully though. *L*

Soup and Song said...

Well, my boss threatened to show me how. I hate to admit it, but I just don't make good popcorn. I have one of those Magic Pop things from the 80's and I like to use that!

Anonymous said...

Did it ever occur to you to ask your dad how to pop corn? He's fairly well know for his popcorn ya know!

Soup and Song said...

Dad!!! I didn't want to shame you with my poor popcorn making skills. Of course I should ask you because your popcorn is the best!

Can you & mom please move out to California so you can show me how? I will be your pesonal chef. Come on, pack your bags and don't forget to bring your BBQ!