Wednesday, September 05, 2007

It's Unresolved


I will be the first to admit that my moods are all over the place. I live my life on a rollercoaster, and I have never known any other way to be.

Just the other day, I found myself in the kitchen, feeling so content and dreamy, feeling like all is as it should be. I was listening to Toots and the Maytals, and making a perfect batch of poblano rice. The weather was perfect and sunlight was streaming through the curtains in the windows. I thought to myself, I am happy right now, however imperfect much of my life may be. And it felt like such an achievement to be able to have that thought.

And then, within the span of twenty-four hours, I found myself in the midst of what felt like certain relationships unraveling, while other relationships were dangling in the air like question marks hanging from a telephone wire, swaying precariously in the wind. It's wild how some situations can sneak up on you without you having any idea, how the undercurrent of what brings them on seems to remain obscured in your blind spot until it hits you squarely between the eyes, leaving you wondering...

WHAT

the

F*CK

?

?

?

I can't help but think of one of my favorite She Mob songs, wherein the tension is churning and the two voices are shouting back and forth to one another "I want closure!", "you can't have it!", "I want closure!", "you can't have it!", "IT'S UNRESOLVED", and the guitars and drums freak out and everything explodes into beautiful chaos.


Yeah, I'm about ready to crank that song right about now ...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll share with you what I've been saying for years of observation... "Comfort Is A Dangerous Thing". It's a difficult thing to enjoy your life yet not allow yourself to be too comfortable in it. Life wants to be messy... it's part of the necessary twist to advance ourselves and our lives.

Praba said...

I guess it's all about acceptance of the chaos and the unresolved nature of some things. But in the NOW, all's just fine. Maybe it's time to look at that book The Power of Now. What the F**K indeed, my friend.